Sustainability is undoubtedly one of the biggest issues facing humanity's future. Long seen as a concern only for hippies and the bourgeois nouveau riche middle-class, it has clearly become something that we all need to think about if we are to ensure the survivability of planet earth. Here's how to approach it in a manly way...
The classic t-shirt slogan says it best: “Save water, drink beer.” Why not? Beer is delicious and manly. Also, try not having a shower every day. Your girlfriend may not appreciate it, but Mother Nature will.
Turn off all the lights in the house and do things by candle light. Fire is probably the most manly thing in the world. Just make sure the candles don't smell of flowers.
Say no to plastic bags in shops. Carrying all the groceries in your arms not only makes you look manly, but it also suggests to others that you may not have paid for them. You'll swagger out of the shop like you haven't.
Grow your own vegetables in the garden. Planting flowers might be for women, but growing food is definitely for men.
Embrace renewable energy by installing a windmill and/or solar panels onto your home. You're harnessing nature AND using power tools. Uber-manly.
Only eat meat that's been killed by your own hand. Earn extra manly points if it's a wild animal. Lose a point if it's a family pet. That's just not cool.
Save on fuel by riding a motorbike instead of driving a truck. They're both manly, but the scars you'll collect after a few spills on the bike give it the upper hand. Joining a gang is optional.
Save paper by not writing anything. If it's important, you'll remember it.
If you get cold in winter, don't turn up the heating. Grow a beard. When it gets long enough you can wrap it around you like a big scarf.
Put a brick in your cistern. Better still, just poo outside in a hole in the garden. If your neighbours complain, just ask them what they're doing for the planet.
No comments:
Post a Comment